M sayings

"I really want to grow my hair long like Rapunzel's... but I don't want anyone to climb on it"

I struggle to update as she plays on the floor near my feet not knowing if this post will ever be published.  Knowing for certain that any little bit of...... silence is worth gold.  This is my life.  This is what I am or what I've become.  To say it has been hard is a lie, it has been much more than that.  Yet here we are at hopefully the brink of renewal, seizing the few precious moments of sanity we have.  Savoring every bit of life.  Reaching for normalcy..  if that is the word for it.

N

Right now he is singing "building umm building, building umm building".  I asked him to find some blocks and build a tower so that I could attempt to write a post about him.  So he went and found four blocks and is currently building a tower right in front of me, leaning on me as he builds, singing right into my ear,  and I'm thinking "so much for a distraction".  But such is life with a sweet little boy like N living in your house.
We are working on learning to pee and poop in the potty.  I think it is going "ok".  He pees every time I sit him on the pot but almost never tells us that he needs to go.  This is unlike his older sisters who were... still are.. stubborn as all get out, refusing to pee even if their bladders were spilling over.  When they were ready, they were ready, and the whole "potty training" process didn't last long. N on the other hand might be content to dirty a pull-up or diaper the rest of his life.
He is all boy. Loving tractors, cars, trucks, blocks , Legos and guns. I've learned that anything can be made into a gun.  Mostly he shapes his Lego blocks into guns, then he goes and shoots things.  We are of course Brethern a peace promoting church.  So sometimes we turn his Lego block guns into Lego block crosses and teach him to say "Live! Live" instead of "Die! Die!" I really don't know where he gets it from.
He is warming up nicely to his baby sister Z.  At first he hardly noticed her. Different again from how his older sisters acted when he was born. M having a nervous breakdown when she came to visit us in the hospital and he wasn't around because he had been sent to the NICU.  L was quite aware of her little brother's presence also when he came home from the hospital.
N and Z now have a relationship which mostly consists of Z playing with N's toys, N taking the toys away from her then Z crying.  Or Z crawling after N or touching N and N backing away crying "I scared Mommy! I scared of that!" pointing to his innocent 10 month old baby sister.
N also seems to be getting along better with his older sisters.  Or maybe they have now decided that he is old enough to play with them. Or maybe because of his fun loving nature and need of attention, he doesn't mind if they dress him in dresses and paint his nails, making him into a beautiful princess, worthy to play with them.
Lately his favorite saying has been "It's my birthday!".  We are in our "birthday season"  which consists of 3 birthdays within four weeks of each other none of them being his.

Sad Girl

Sometimes when a baby is unhappy you should snap a photo.

These moments won't last forever.

I love how her eyes and nose get all red when she cries!

Some Sort of Normal

I am choosing not to go into the weight drama that has consumed our lives for the past five months. Someday I will write a book or blog or something that extensively covers Z's first year of life.

Today I will focus on us.

The good.

Our normal.

This is Z. My sweet. Sassy. Energetic. Unique. Determined. Seven almost Eight month old baby girl. I believe that she should have been a first born. She acts like she is an only child-demanding attention. Or does she act how she does because she is the forth born and she wants to make a name for herself? make herself known?

Whatever it is She is determined to be who God made her to be. I've never had a baby with a personality like hers. Difficult isn't the word for it. Whatever the word is that describes her. I think I love her more because of it. She absolutely has me wrapped around her little finger and I do not believe that is a bad thing.

We had a "photo shoot" today. It was nice and sunny outside and our upstairs living room has several large windows that let in a lot of light. I've never had the chance to take photos of her yet in a semi-professional setting. So I set up the shoot and snapped away. She of course wanted to move and J helped out by putting her back where she needed to sit. See that look on her face? She knows she is being difficult and she loves it. That is one thing that makes my heart melt. In the midst of all we've been through- she has no idea. She just knows that she is who she is and that nobody can change her.

So a little more about the rest of the bunch. I guess I can say we have finally found our rhythm. Our beat of normal. After the stresses of gaining weight "normally", doctor visits and so forth we have some what of a "schedule". Homeschooling is going well although I will change some of our curriculum for next year I am glad we had what we had for this year. I love being the main witness to what and how the girls(and N) are learning. I am happy to be their "teacher" as well as their mother. But aren't all mothers teachers anyway?

I am hoping thatour normalcy keeps up like it has been so I can add some fun things into our schedule and some maintenance things as well. For example I would love to have more time to craft-sew, scrapbook, quilt.. I also would like more time to clean! My laundry is a mess!

I took this today. I love all of them so much! They are all so beautiful(handsome) and unique. I am so glad God has blessed me with this bunch of chaotic children. Love them.

And back to Z. Rockin' some Itti Bitti D'lish cloth dipes.

Moving Out

I just read the Facebook post of a mother of a 3 month old baby. She said she moved her baby out of their room and into her crib in her own room the other night. Although it is something I've done in the past I could not even imagine doing it now. Z is going on 6 months and the thought hasn't crossed my mind.
We moved our oldest, M, out of our room at 3 months. She was formula fed, slept through the nights and the girl was incredibly active. I'm sure I thought she would pull herself out of her pack n play bassinet soon. So she was moved out.

L, our second, was probably moved out before 6 months of age. I breastfed her for only two months. I think we waited a little longer because I was putting her in the same room as M and was afraid they would wake each other up.

N, baby number three, slept in our bed... I mean our room, for his first year of life. In all honestly he hardly goes a night without paying us a visit. We have an extremely comfy bed. I don't blame him.

Anyways, he was breastfed until maybe 9 months. I started work and the milk started to not be there. He was transitioned from his bassinet to his crib in our room. We were blessed to have the space in our room. I know some families don't. I almost didn't think twice about leaving him in with us. He was still waking up in the middle of the night and I always laid down to nurse him. To imagine getting up and going to get him in another room so I could bring him into our bed to nurse him and then to get up and go to another room to lay him back down to sleep. It sounded like a lot of walking. He would have spent half the night in our bed with us- oh wait, he did that anyway!

I am not trying to put anyone down for their life choices. I just couldn't imagine doing it now and regret doing it before. Regret? Yep. I said it. There are many benefits to room sharing, co-sleeping and even bed-sharing.

When M was little, J worked night shift, her bedroom was on the other end of the apartment. I had the monitor on when we slept at night but sometimes I would go the whole night without hearing a peep from her. I could not bring myself to go check on her before J go home in the morning. I feared there would be a dead baby. Room sharing prevents that from happening. I am totally aware of my sleeping babies breathing. There are actual studies that show that co-sleeping reduces the chances of SIDS. Most importantly, babies need us. They need to be close to us. Eventually they sleep in their own beds in their own rooms. It really is not a big deal to have them spend their life as a baby in your bed or your room close to you.

Like I said, Z is almost 6 months old and the only thing I've thought of doing is transitioning her into a crib just because she is almost at the pulling-herself-up or sitting-up-on-her-own stage. The crib would of course be in our room.

So.. how about you? When did your babies move out?